Ashley Martin (Ted) Herring
11/02/1996 – 24/05/2017
On Wednesday the 24th of May at 10pm my life
changed. I never thought that it would ever happen, that I open the door to
find a police officer standing there, and telling me the worst news he could
ever say. I’ve started this speech so many times, never really knowing what to say
or how to say it. So fuck it, let’s do an Ashley at get straight to the fucking
point.
I had the joys of 21 years with Ashley. It’s safe to say it
hasn’t always been smiles and kisses, he knew how to wind me up proper good.
But with his stupid smirk of a grin he was easy to forgive. As me and Ash grew
up we had an unspoken rule, if we ever argued we were not allowed to stay mad
at each other for any more than 2 minutes. It would normally end in us going to
Sainsbury’s to buy food we really didn’t need.
Which brings me onto the story of food Tourette’s. Now
anyone who knows myself or Ash knew that we were most sarcastic swearing pair
of idiots. Who when together were terrible and wound everyone up… Ashley loved
to take this to a whole new level, and on behalf of Ashley I would like to
apologise to Sainsbury’s and Tescos workers… Ashley invented a game called food
Tourette’s, where instead of swearing he would simply start shouting items of
foods out loud. This has on several occasions nearly got us kicked out and
banned from shops… only for me to turn around and say sorry he doesn’t mean to
its his Tourette’s… meanwhile I’m pissing myself laughing and Ashley continues
to swear and shout sausage rolls at this poor lady. Ashley was unable to go
shopping on his own because I quote ‘people piss me off’.
I honestly have endless amounts of stories about my brother,
my best friend. The one that Ashley loved to tell was that of when we were 8 or
9 years old. We had just watched Peter Pan and Ash loved the shadow scene where
they fight with swords. So we are sat in his room, I have a pencil for my sword
and Ash well he whips out a bloody pen knife. There we are sword fighting, he
knocks my pencil out of my hand laughs and I start waving my arms around, he is
still jabbing the knife and there it goes, straight into my right forearm where
I still have the scar. He of course blames me and laughs. That story still
makes me laugh.
On that day, Ashley had a perfect last day. Although he woke
up an hour late for work, it means that I got to see him, we joked around had a
laugh and I got to say goodbye. Although we didn’t realise it would be our
last. He got to work, as usual happy and pissing everyone off. Got to ride his
bike to and from work. Got home had eggy bread for dinner and then went back
out on his bike. It may be simple but not only did I get to say goodbye, my mum
got to see him, my dad got to see him, his favourite work friends worked with
him and he was doing what he loved. Without a shadow of a doubt I know Ash died
with a smile on his face.
Thank you to Ashley for bringing light into so many people’s
lives. For making us smile and laugh even when we shouldn’t have been. For
always being there and pushing us to be our best. He pushed me into university
I have a degree because of him. For pushing Carl into the police force to Josh
motivating him to join the army. For believing in us all when we didn’t think
we could do it.
So Ash, my little brother, my best friend. Until we meet
again.
Your last words to me
And my last words to you…
See yah later, Cunt
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