We only accept the love, we think we deserve.

I have to be honest the past few months have been dark for me. I've tried so hard to put on a brave face but honestly its getting harder and harder each day. So much has happened this year and most of it not great and defiantly not happy.

Every time I think it's my time to be happy, I get that feeling that I don't deserve it, and every time without fail I ruin it. Not always on purpose but sometimes I just cannot help it.

I've tried so hard to be selfish and put myself first but honestly I've never been good at that. I care about others to much... and when I try I just feel emptiness and darkness come over me. I guess the depression really has got hold of me now.

This time of year, every year I used to look forward to it. Christmas with my family. But this year my family is a fraction of the size and nothing feels happy or festive.

I have such great friends and a close family but I guess at the end of it sometimes its not enough.

Missing someone and no being able to talk to the one person who means the most to you is the hardest thing possible. I hope that no one ever has to go what I have gone through.

I guess what I'm trying to say is; Just because I have a smile on my face it doesn't mean I'm smiling on the inside.

I cannot wait to turn my back on 2017 and start a fresh in 2018. Hopefully happiness is waiting for me. Just ... Maybe...

An open letter to Ashley

I'm not angry. I'm not disappointed. I'm not sad. I'm broken.

When you died apart of me went too.

All those missed opportunities. Those silly little arguments that meant nothing. Those times that I said no to hanging our with you. All gone.

Knowing that in this life time I won't see you again is heart breaking. Everything reminds me of you. I can't go in your room. It still smells of you. Everytime I hear the squeak of your door I hope just a little.

I try so hard Ash to stay positive but sometimes it's just so hard. I can hear you say get a fucking grip. But sometimes it's just to hard.

I took you for granted. We all do it. Everyday. We don't mean to. You don't realise how much you depend on someone, how much you need someone until they are gone.

4 months have past and it's really not got easier. That night is still fresh in my mind. I'm trying Ash, even got myself a counsellor. But you're still not here.

I'm sorry I haven't been to visit you yet. At your grave. But that's not how I want to remember you. Soon I will, I will bring the dogs. They miss you a lot.

Just remember Ash. I love you. Always and forever. Rest easy little brother. Until we meet again.

For my family and my friends -- Thank You

I started this year with a clear mind. A plan to make everything work out for me. I had a job, got promoted, planned on heading to university in September. That was 8 months ago, a lot has happened in those 8 months. 

• Had a boyfriend 
• Ended the relationship
• Failed driving test
• Got several tattoos
• Applied for university
• Joined slimming world 
• Withdrew application
• Quit slimming world  
• Applied for a teaching agency 
• Ashley passed away 
• 2 months off of work 
• Rejoined slimming world 
• I quit my job 
• 2 interviews 
• Applied for camp America 2018 
• Reapplied for university for September 2018 
• Booked driving test 

If this year has taught me anything its to keep going forward no matter what this shit show of a life throws at you. Things always get hard and they my never seem like they will never get better, but it does. It really does. 

I've learnt that I have some amazing family and friends. They keep me going and make me stronger. And they let me be angry and upset and happy and sad all at the same time. So this blog post is for them and for me. To thank them for caring about me and giving a shit even when I couldn't

For keeping me going when I saw no light.

For being my rock when I crumpled. 

For encouraging me to keep going. 

I love you all 

IsThataRedHerring 

Living with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome

I was diagnosed with PCOS when I was 14, I hadn't had a period in over a year and I began to get concerned. So, I made an appointment with my doctor, she sent me off for an ultrasound scan and blood tests. When I came back for my follow up appointment I was told that I had PCOS. She explained what it was but I didn't really understand much and went about my life as normal. Thinking it was great that I didn't have periods.

It wasn't until I was at university that I discovered the true extent of what living with PCOS meant. Okay, I didn't have periods but I did have the side effects of them, all minus the bleeding. I have bad back ache, severe cramps that would have me crying, I felt ill and had awful mood swings. PCOS also meant my chance of ever becoming pregnant was rather low, I have a 10% chance of conceiving children naturally. I have heard all the stories before of people with PCOS having children naturally, but I have other complications which means the likelihood is a lot lower. Now I was told when I was 14 these statistics and I have had 8 nearly 9 years to process this information. And although sometimes it gets be down, I know there are plenty of children out there that need adopting so when the time is right I think that is the route I will take.

Away, what is PCOS? Other than standing for Polycystic Ovary Syndrome, it is not actually cysts on the ovaries. Confusing I know! I used the NHS website to help me explain what PCOS, there definition is :

'Polycystic ovaries contain a large number of harmless follicles that are up to 8mm in size. The follicles are under-developed sacs in which eggs develop. In PCOS, these sacs are often unable to release an egg, which means that ovulation doesn't take place.'

Meaning that the sacs in which the egg normally lives (as it were) is undeveloped and does not contain an egg, meaning an egg is not released and a period does not occur. Although the cause of PCOS is un known it is believed to run in families. It is related to a hormone in-balance within the body.

It is estimated that 1 in 5 women in the UK has PCOS, but it varies in severity.

Signs and symptoms

• irregular periods or none at all
• difficulty getting pregnant
• excess hair 
• thinning hair 
• weight gain or trouble losing weight

Basically its a massive shit storm and is horrible. Although there is no treatment for it there are some ways of controlling it. I myself were prescribed several different hormone tablets and treatments. But the extra hormones that was used to combat the extra testosterone but the hormone treatments made be depressed caused me to gain weight and fucked me up more. I stopped the treatments and felt a lot better. 

Its been over 9 years since I was diagnosed and I still havent had periods but I am hearing more and more stories about women diagnosed with PCOS and still concieving children naturally so I have faith that if I chose to have children I will be able to naturally. But that is a long way in the future. 

This has been a bit of long post with loads of information. I will do a follow up post soon about my experience with diagnosis. But just know ladies you are not alone. If you have any questions drop me a line. 

Bonus picture of my baby... My ferret Trevvor. 

Love Yah 

IsThataRedHerring 

I have more tattoos... still not a thug!

A lot has changed since my first post about my tattoos that by the way you can read here. All of my tattoos tell a story and in the past few weeks they mean more and more. In the first blog I had 4 tattoos I now have 15. Oops. I won't repeat the first 4 as you can read about them in the other post. But lets dive in, I will try and do them in some sort of order.

Tattoo number 5 is an anchor behind my ear. Which is a matching tattoo with my very good friend Chelsey who I shared a house with at university and have a great friendship. Why an anchor? Because I went to university in the Ocean city of England, Plymouth and seemed appropriate. Number 6 is a simple sail boat behind my right ear (sorry no photo), keep on sailing, life is like the ocean, tough and full of bumps and struggles. But it is so important to keep on going, take whatever like throws at you.

Now I know you arent meant to have favourites among your children... but this may be one of my favourites. I love the film Up, and bond I have with my family. It is heart retching but full of love and adventure. It's a wonderful piece and I love it, It's as bright as it was the first day I got it. 

Number 8 and 9 I got on the same day because why the hell not at cute little otter because otters are adorable and well that is the only reason, so no emotional story behind it. The other is a stag, so the geometric side is a stag (male deer) and the realistic side is a doe (female deer) and to be honest I have always wanted a stag, I really like them and also my dad has one and I have always liked it, so i decided to get one haha. This tattoo also influenced me for my next one ha! And the start of a sleeve. 

Number 10 and 11 that;s right this bitch has the Grinch who stole Christmas on her leg. Because I have a love hate relationship with Christmas like he does haha. As some of you maybe aware that my Gran passed away on Christmas day in 2004 when I was 10, so really Christmas has never really been the same again for myself and my family, however I still love the spirit of Christmas so well the Grinch hates it all and comes to love it in the end (sorry spoiler). also for the record the Grinch is awesome. So number 11 is my spirit animal, the sloth. I have always loved sloths always, and I just had to get one, and I couldn't resist getting it in the same style as my stag, so the half geometric and realistic style and I love it.

Number 12 is a little semi-colon I have on my right wrist to symbolise that my story is not over, and that whatever life throws at me I will and can continue.

Number 13 is my most important tattoo, It is the tribute tattoo for my brother who died on the 24th of May 2017 aged 21. Ash loved motorbikes and guitars and known to many of his close friends as Ted, so my wonderful tattooist designed the most perfect tattoo in his honour. 7 hours worth of pain, but totally worth it, it is a master piece. Like myself and Ash it is big, bold and extremely colourful. I carry apart of him with me where ever I go and that means the most. 

Number 14 is simply Ashley's name with his year of birth and death, A little reminded of him whenever I look down, it always makes me smile and look up again. 

Number 15 is Russell because I bloody love Up, and to be honest he always reminded me of my brother. We always joked that he would get Russell tattooed on him, my dad has Mr Fredricksen and I of course have the house... Sadly Ash my brother never got the opportunity to get it done, so of course I got him done. Look at how happy he is there, its like he belongs there. Of course this has now meant that my right leg is turning into a sleeve, and I have many ideas for the rest of the leg. I am really excited to get it finished. A big bold, cartoon leg.

BIG shout out to the wonderful Sophie for being not only my wonderful tattooist but my friend, I always without a shadow of a doubt always have a laugh with Soph and she does an amazing job. We have many more planned so watch this space for another updated one soon.

Love yah
IsThataRedHerring

A tribute to my brother. Eulogy

Ashley Martin (Ted) Herring

11/02/1996 – 24/05/2017

On Wednesday the 24^th of May at 10pm my life changed. I never thought that it would ever happen, that I open the door to find a police officer standing there, and telling me the worst news he could ever say. I’ve started this speech so many times, never really knowing what to say or how to say it. So fuck it, let’s do an Ashley at get straight to the fucking point.

I had the joys of 21 years with Ashley. It’s safe to say it hasn’t always been smiles and kisses, he knew how to wind me up proper good. But with his stupid smirk of a grin he was easy to forgive. As me and Ash grew up we had an unspoken rule, if we ever argued we were not allowed to stay mad at each other for any more than 2 minutes. It would normally end in us going to Sainsbury’s to buy food we really didn’t need.

Which brings me onto the story of food Tourette’s. Now anyone who knows myself or Ash knew that we were most sarcastic swearing pair of idiots. Who when together were terrible and wound everyone up… Ashley loved to take this to a whole new level, and on behalf of Ashley I would like to apologise to Sainsbury’s and Tescos workers… Ashley invented a game called food Tourette’s, where instead of swearing he would simply start shouting items of foods out loud. This has on several occasions nearly got us kicked out and banned from shops… only for me to turn around and say sorry he doesn’t mean to its his Tourette’s… meanwhile I’m pissing myself laughing and Ashley continues to swear and shout sausage rolls at this poor lady. Ashley was unable to go shopping on his own because I quote ‘people piss me off’.

I honestly have endless amounts of stories about my brother, my best friend. The one that Ashley loved to tell was that of when we were 8 or 9 years old. We had just watched Peter Pan and Ash loved the shadow scene where they fight with swords. So we are sat in his room, I have a pencil for my sword and Ash well he whips out a bloody pen knife. There we are sword fighting, he knocks my pencil out of my hand laughs and I start waving my arms around, he is still jabbing the knife and there it goes, straight into my right forearm where I still have the scar. He of course blames me and laughs. That story still makes me laugh.

On that day, Ashley had a perfect last day. Although he woke up an hour late for work, it means that I got to see him, we joked around had a laugh and I got to say goodbye. Although we didn’t realise it would be our last. He got to work, as usual happy and pissing everyone off. Got to ride his bike to and from work. Got home had eggy bread for dinner and then went back out on his bike. It may be simple but not only did I get to say goodbye, my mum got to see him, my dad got to see him, his favourite work friends worked with him and he was doing what he loved. Without a shadow of a doubt I know Ash died with a smile on his face.

Thank you to Ashley for bringing light into so many people’s lives. For making us smile and laugh even when we shouldn’t have been. For always being there and pushing us to be our best. He pushed me into university I have a degree because of him. For pushing Carl into the police force to Josh motivating him to join the army. For believing in us all when we didn’t think we could do it.

So Ash, my little brother, my best friend. Until we meet again.

Your last words to me

And my last words to you…

See yah later, Cunt 

A little haul.

Payday came and went... therefore I have treated myself to a few little bits and bobs. Enjoy my loves.

I work in a care home, and because the air is very dry and hot most of the time, my skin is getting the brunt of it. It's dry and I am having more break outs than usual. I popped into Superdrug and picked up the Garnier night cream, and the lady working there could not rave about this stuff enough, I picked up both the day and night cream in the Garnier Skin Active Moisture Bomb range, it is supposed to penetrate 5 layers of skin so we shall see. They were on offer, a third off at around £5.30 ish each. So affordable. Also in the same range the tissue masks, I love these things and always buy loads in when they are on offer, at 99p you cannot go wrong,

I popped into Body Shop, I do not tend to buy a lot from Body Shop but this Peach body mist is out of this world, it smells so nice and ideal for Spring time, I have also sprayed this on my pillows because it is so nice. It was on offer for £4, so cheap and a lovely scent. I went into Boots, of course, I have wanted to try the Rimmel Fix and Go 2 in 1 primer and setting spray for a will, I often find my make up wears off a lot around the nose area the most, maybe because I wear glasses and I am forever pushing them up but I thought I'd give this ago. I will let you know how I get on, that was £6.99. I had to repurchase this little angel again, the ARGAN Secret Miracle 10 spray is everything! My hair was in such a bad place before I started using this. I know use it everyday when styling my hair, not only does it do amazing things to my hair it smells amazing too. My hair has never been in a better condition. This is my third bottle in about 8 months, I got my latest bottle from Amazon for £15.91 and it is so worth it. £16 every three months really isn't that bad.

I decided to dye my hair (surprise!!) a darker grey this time round, my hair was previously blue so where the grey is now fading into a lighter grey the blue undertones are making it green and dirty blonde in some places. I love the Colour- Freedom Metallic Glory range, I chose the darkest grey they have which is stone grey. It is not far off black, but where I use head and shoulders itchy scalp every other wash the dye does fade, so I know that it will not be this dark for to long. A usual in Superdrug they were on offer at £7.99 each, buy 1 get 1 half price so of course I brought two. I dyed my hair today using it, and I love it. They do not damage my hair at all, the shea butter and aragn oil really help. The wash in wash out versions of these dyes also by colour freedom are great as well and long lasting.

Finally onto film and books, I had to buy the new Harry Potter and Fantastic Beast and where to find them DVD, I have yet to watch it but aim to watch it with the family tonight. A review will be coming. I also purchased the 4th and 5th series of Grimm as I have nearly finished the first 3 series on Netflix. At only £16 for both series I could not resist. Thanks Amazon Prime haha. A shopping trip with my best friend would not be complete without a stop in Waterstones, we each brought a book and together did the buy 1 get 1 half price deal. We both went for Young Adult books, I chose The Memory Book by Lara Avery, because it reminds me of dementia which is strange I know, but it follows a girl with an illness who begins to forget everything, but she wants to remember... hence the memory book. I hope to start this tonight.

I did buy some new NYX lispticks but I am going to do an individual blogpost about them. I hope you enjoyed this.

Love yah
IsThataRedHerring

Slimming world: week 5

I started the week very shaky. I was off from work and well bordem set in. On Tuesday and Wednesday I did not track my days at all. I ate not necessailry badly but not great either. Come Thursday I was like right what are you doing? Get a grip and sort this out.

I went for a long walk with my friend, prepared my lunch and just ate better. Simple things that clearly made a difference. I made sure I had more speed on my plate. On Friday I knew I was going out for a meal, so I ate wisely that day and well I didn't hold back in the evening. We had a starter of sausages, main course of a buttermilk burger and fries (loads of mayo) and for pudding a chocolate bomb with toffee sauce. It was so good though and worth it all. I didn't drink as one I didn't want the added calories and two I had work the next day. HA!

The weekend consisted of work. Which means I tend to eat better anyway, I am always busy averaging around 15,000 steps a day at work. I also have breakfast lunch and dinner which doesn't always happen. I found myself not very hungry at work this week, so had mugshots for lunch with ham, fruit and a yogurt. On both Saturday and Sunday. On Sunday I went straight to Oxford so didn't eat dinner. Naughty me but I wasn't really hungry.

On Monday, I wasn't feeling very well, and stuck to not so healthy foods. I grabbed a sandwich from M&S (Carnation chicken) which is my favourite and two milk chocolate bars. I then had a healthier dinner of rice, chicken and speed veg in the evening which I felt balanced it out nicely.

So, today is weigh day, and I honestly didn't know what to expect. It's been a weird old week....

First week I lost 2.5lbs
Second week I lost 3.5lb
Third week I lost: 0.5lb
Fourth week I lost: 1.5lb
Fifth week I lost: 3lb
Total: 11b

That's right this week I lost 3lb, my weight is now 19st 11.5lb.. I did not think I'd get to this weight as quickly as I have. I'm so happy with myself.

Love yah
IsThataRedHerring

Slimming World: My first month.

HAPPY NEW YEAR.

That's right I'm back and I actually have things to share with you all. The main one and for me the most important thing is that I took the step to lose weight, but properly this time. And as the title suggests I joined Slimming World. I was going to write a week by week diary of how I'm finding it but I wanted to give it a month to give it a proper go. And honestly I am loving it. I am so proud of myself for sticking with it. I joined 21/02/2017 weighing 20st 9 lb and its been a month so here is my progress. 

Starting weight: 20st 9lb
Dress size: 22
Target dress size: 14
5% target: 14lb

I did well in my first week considering I went out and got really very drunk at my cousins wedding. I ate well but wow those empty calories haha. The second week even better, I lost more and really stuck to the plan, I even out out for a meal with the girls and with making good choices I managed to lose more weight. Now the third week was a tricky one for me, I broke up with my boyfriend and well food was there for me. But I still lost, even if it was only half a pound. A loss is still a loss. I was determined this week to get my half stone reward, and I managed it. I am so proud of myself that in four weeks I have lost 8lb in total, Meaning I am now 20st 1.5lb. I aim to lose at least 3lb next week so I will be in my next stone bracket.

It has taken a lot of guts for me to put up my actual weight and size. For so long I've been ashamed of what I look like, but now I honestly feel happy. I am losing weight and on my terms, I've found something that really works for me, and although I do have those cheat meals, I know that I can jump right back on it. In four short weeks I have proven that no matter how big you are, as long as you are determined you can do what you want, Eat amazing food and learn simple ways to change your life for the better.

First week I lost 2.5lbs
Second week I lost 3.5lb
Third week I lost: 0.5lb
Fourth week I lost: 1.5lb
Total: 8lb

I'm learning to love food and not be afraid to experiment. To follow my plan and see and reach the goals I never thought were possible, If I lose 2/3 lb each week for 12 months this time next year I will reach my dress size and my target weight. I will follow this up either each week or monthly depending on how things are. I will start posting food diaries, my tips and tricks kind of thing. And of course my progress. Thank you for reading this and joining me on my journey.

Love yah
IsThataRedHerring

BLOGMAS Day 15 and 16: My favourite Yankee Candles.

I adore candles, and in particular I am a sucker for Yankee. I have so many candles, boxes and boxes but I always go back to the same candles time and time again.

The first Yankee candle I brought was garden sweet pea. I found it in a clearance bin in my local garden center, I was so excited haha. A lovely floral smell, perfect for spring.

I discovered the candy corn candle by accident. I was watching Youtube candles hauls (because I have an exciting life) and saw this, didn't think much of it. Saw it in the Yankee candle shop and fell in love with the smell. I brought a ton of the sample size ones. Ideal for autumn and of course Halloween.

I'm not sure where I found this one, but sadly you can't buy it on the shop online. But the candy cane forest sent is exactly what it says on the tin. OMG! It smells good enough to eat. I've had it lit pretty much constantly since December 1st. 

And finally, my personal favourite and go to sent is soft blanket. It is so fresh and perfect. It also smells like clean washing. I have brought several of the big jars this year so far. You need this candle in your lives. It actually calms me. 

Highly recommend all of these candles. The big jars are worth the money. I always have candles burning. Feels more homely. 

Love yah 

IsThataRedHerring 

BLOGMAS Days 13 and 14: Not very exciting facts about me...

Okay so I have been slacking on the blog posts lately, So the next couple are going to be joint days. Sorry. No excuses just how things have happened. So have some not very exciting things about me! 

MERRY CHRISTMAS

1. My favourite book is Where Rainbows End by Cecilia Ahern also known as Love Rosie.
2. I am slightly addicted to The Sims 4, not playing the game, more building the houses and killing my sims in weird ways.... you all do it! 
3. I love to cook and bake. Love finding new recipes. 
4. Marvel over DC any day. X-men in particular 
5. The Phoenix is my favourite mutant ever! (seriously she can control all matter!!!)
6. I am slightly addicted to candles. I can't resist buying them. 
7. I rewatch comedy shows all the time, and still laugh at them even though I know the jokes. Yeah I'm that person. 
8. My music taste is something to be desired. I love anything cheesey! Give me anything from the 80's and 90's. Who doesn't love ABBA? But I also love Punk and soft rock. I just like to sing badly to songs. 
9. I don't like cheese okay. I'm sorry but its horrid. It makes me sick and smells horrid. Say no to cheese. 
10. I'm single! Like really single HA.
11. I'm still learning to drive. I can drive, just haven't done my driving test. 
12. I know most of the words to the album Curtain Call by Eminem. Also 8 mile is one of my favourite films.
13. I am really untidy. Not dirty just really untidy. 
14. Cider is a glorious drink... I cannot drink vodka it never ends well for me. 

So, yeah sorry haha. 14 random facts about me, as this is day 13 and 14... 

Love yah 

IsThataRedHerring 

BLOGMAS Day 12: My favourite books and why!

I have done it! That's right.. my top 5 books EVER! In no particular order at all...

The Martian by Andy Weir

FanGirl by Rainbow Rowell 

The Rosie Project by Graeme Simsion 

Where Rainbows End by Cecelia Ahern

Everything, Everything by Nicola Yoon 

But why these books in particular? Each of these books mean something different to me. I read them all at different times in my life. I have reread Where Rainbows End aka Love, Rosie dozens of times. I adore it, simply adore it. It was one of the first 'bigger books' I have ever read. It's set out in such a way that I had not read before. It is constructed via emails, letters and texts. It's great. We jump from conversation to conversation and follows two best friends of the same age but at very different stages in their lives. Based in Ireland, one best friend moves away to America and the other remains in Ireland. It's a lovely book and a very easy read, and for me the ending is perfect. It has been made into a film, called Love, Rosie, and honestly I love the film as much as the book. I was hesitant at first with the film, and I didn't actually watch it until about 6 months after it was out, however I can hand on heart say I loved it. I have watched it over and over again. Although some parts are different, I feel like it works for the film. Highly recommend both film and book... let's face it I am going to highly recommend all of these books haha. 

Time to move onto my most recent read which is The Martian by Andy Weir,  I watched the film before I read the book which sometimes is a mistake, but I think for me it helped, because some of th stuff is technical in this book! But OMG this book is amazing, and really well written, And as for the film they are basically the same. I loved every word of this book, and it hit me right in the feels. I felt like I was with him, stranded. Such a good book. I haven't read anything like this before and I am really glad I did.

Everything, Everything was a really, really quick read for me, and it was great. It follows a girl who is allergic to everything and hasn't been outside her house ever. She has a full time carer for when her mum is at work. She is talented and is home schooled. Everything is fine and she doesn't miss the outside world until a new family moves in next door and she befriends the son. She begins questioning everything her mum has told her... is she really allergic to everything? Read the book to find out. I love quick easy YA novels like this. I love these types of books for the summer. Got to love a romance novel.

Thank gawd for Rainbow Rowell for bringing me this book FanGirl,  I adore this book, it follows a set of twins who could not be any different on their journey to college. Cath an introvert who loses herself to fanfiction and her sister Wren who wants to experience college and all it has to offer. Cath wants everything to stay the same between her ans her sister but Wren wants some distance. It follows the journey of these two girls, does Cath get out her comfort zone and does Wren push things to far? Cath writes fanfiction of her favourite film/book series which is very poplar, but how will it all end? This book has everything for me, adventure and romance, a really cute read that I want more of.

And finally The Rosie Project, this book follows a young man who is ready to find a wife, Don is a scientist through and through and sits somewhere on the Asperger scale and takes everything literally. His brain is very much wired in a way that everything can become an experiment including his love life. Don creates a questionnaire, and when on dates uses the questionnaire to determine if the women in question is a suitable candidate. In comes Rosie, she ticks non of the boxes but yet Don is drawn towards her. She is the opposite of what Don wants, and seeks to change Rosie in every way. But does he succeed or does Rosie change him? There is a sequel to The Rosie Project called the Rosie Effect, and I didn't feel that, that book lived up to the first one, it painted both Don and Rosie in very bad ways, and took me quite some time to finish.

Well those are just some of my favourite books, I could add loads more to the list, but for now I am happy with those. If you have any suggestions for me, please comment them below as I love reading.

Love yah
IsThataRedHerring 

BLOGMAS Day 11: My favourite Christmas Films.

It wouldn't be Blogmas without a list of my favourite Christmas films. So here goes: 

Love Actually 

Myself and my mum every year without fail, sit down in our pjs, with a hot chocolate and some snacks and watch Love Actually. For me this film has everything, it brings together so many cute and adorable stories that everyone can relate to at some point. And let's face it, the acting is great, it has a crappy Christmas song and plenty of fun. A must see, 

A muppets Christmas Carol 

This film is rather sentimental to me, I remember watching it with my Gran, my brother and my cousins many, many Christmas’s ago. It’s a great family favourite that tells the tell of a Christmas Carol but with the muppets. What more do you want?  

Grinch 

Jim Carrey as the Grinch is everything! I can relate to the Grinch on so many levels. If you haven’t seen it where the hell have you been? The scene when he is trying to decide what to wear is spot on! ‘Right that’s it I’m not going’… or when he is looking through the phone book ‘hate, hate, double hate, totally loathe’ Actually tears! And his hatred for see people. But in the end he realised the true meaning of Christmas… Bye, bye Santa. 

Others include Elf, National Lapoons Christmas Vacation and of course Deck the Halls. I love a good Christmas film, who doesn't. Right I'm off to watch the Grinch. 

Merry Christmas

Love yah 

IsThataRedHerring 

BLOGMAS Day 10: Lazy Sunday.

IT'S SUNDAY!!! And I have the day off, yey. I did a night shift last night, got home around 9am and slept until 1230 ish. Rudely woken by my brother... we went to get some bits from the shop, more Christmas shopping and instead we brought food, alcohol, chocolate and new films... only went and got Finding Dory. Promptly watched it straight away. LOVED EVERY SECOND. I'm now curled up n the sofa, in a blanket preparing some new blog posts. One to go up tonight as I once again missed last night :(. It is hard to post a blog post on time when you are at work. But I am hoping to be more prepared in this week and schedule posts going up.

Fire is lit, Christmas tree on, I have a cider and I'm making a curry. A lovely Sunday evening awaits.

Love yah
IsThataRedHerring.

BLOGMAS Day 9: Reapplying for university

I thought it was about time I reapplied for university. I am lucky enough to hold a BA Hons degree in Educational Studies from Plymouth university. And after taking nearly 2 years out of education and thinking long and hard about what I want to do for the rest of my life I have finally chosen what to do. I am currently trying to write my personal statement. I don't think I am the only one who struggles to write about themselves without feeling like a vain twat! I have written half a page so far and I am cringing at every second of it.

Anyway, you may be wondering what I am applying for, well I am putting in my application for a PGCE in primary school teaching ages 5-11. I was umming and arring for so long if to do it. I was debating for a while if to do midwifery or nursing but I decided that teaching was the way forward. I am hoping to get my QTS and within 2/3 years be able to teach abroad. I really want to travel and teach. Or even move to another country to teach. But that is a few years off and I really need to get this application form done first. Haha.

I am hoping to stay close to home this time round. As it will be cheaper in the long run. My top choices are; Reading, Winchester and Southampton. Oxford Brookes was also on the list, but I can only choose 3 and Winchester won its place in the top 3. Its so pretty. All of these universities have great reviews from students. I have done a lot of research into what university to go to, and it has taken me over a year to narrow down my choices. And I am pretty happy with them.

I just need to finish my personal statement, get my references and I can then send off my application. So, fingers crossed I get through to the interview stage and get offered places. I will keep you all up to date.

Love yah
IsThataRedHerring

BLOGMAS Day 8: I was so tired.

As you may have noticed I did not post yesterday :( and my only excuse is that I was very over tired. I couldn't even watch TV! I was that tired. I had finished a night shift, got in at 915 ish, showered and wound down like I would normally. Thinking that I had all day to sleep. Only for a reminder on my phone to go off... I had a driving lesson at 3 pm. Not my smartest move really but I couldn't cancel as I hadn't had one in a while and I need to get back into driving.. anyway it's now 1030 and I just get into bed. I set an alarm for 2 pm as I need a good hour to fully wake up and not be dangerous for driving. I had about 3 hours sleep. Now bare in mind I got up at 1 pm the previous day, done a 13 hour night shift and now running on 3 hours sleep. I did pretty well (didn't crash or stall on my driving lesson and bossed a reverse bay park, thank you very much). Anyway that's my excuse out of the way. And honestly I have no idea what to do with this post. So, its going to be picture of my dogs doing  being stupid.

Enjoy and sorry for a crap blog... My next one being posted also tonight will be better. I promise.


Love yah
IsThataRedHerring

BLOGMAS Day 7: working as a carer.

I have been working in the care industry for nearly 2 years now, wither with the elderly or with children and young adults with learning difficulties. Now it is safe to say my job is not an easy one. And on more than one occasion I have had people say oh but you're just a carer, you wipe bums for a living HAHA yeah of course that's all I do... WRONG. I work my ass off. I am currently working 13 hour night shifts in a care home with the elderly who have dementia and a residential home. People assume that because I work nights I have an easy job. A few of my residents do not sleep and are often in an out of bed and I do a lot of personal care, plus the admin jobs and jobs around the home. Its not an easy shift at all.

I'm writing this just before I go to work, I cycle to and from work getting a bit of exercise in and try to eat healthily. On an average night shift I do over 12,000 steps so a lot of walking and on a day shift its more.

So, what is it like to be a carer? I'm going to talk from the perspective of an carer working with the elderly as that is my current position. I am currently an acting senior carer at night, which means to some extent I am in charge. Just means that I help the nurses out a bit more and make sure the level of care is the highest standard. I still assist with pretty much all care but I also help with care plans, admin work and making sure all the jobs are complete. A lot of my work involves making sure my residents are safe, that they are eating and drinking enough and are happy. Personal care such as assisting with showering, bathing, changing pads that kind of thing is an hourly occurrence. I think a lot of people assume that on a night shift once everyone is in bed you just sit around and do nothing but that is not true at all. We are always busy!

20:00 - handover from day shift (15 mins)
20:15-01:00- assisting residents to bed and personal care for those already in bed
01:00-03:00-  kitchen jobs, emptying bins, laundry, cleaning and tidying. As well as hourly checks on all residents and personal care if and when needed.
03-00-07-00- getting ready for the morning, emptying the dish washer for the third time, more admin jobs and of course personal care.
07:00-08:00- checking paperwork and one final check on the residents, some residents like to be up early from 05:30-07:30 so we do showering and bathing and getting breakfast ready for those. and of course our night handover to the day staff takes place at 08:00-08:20.

That is a really basic and quick guide to my job, I have properly left out so much more I could add. But I will be doing a day shift as well soon, more tends to happen as activities take place during the day. It is a stressful job and I've wanted to quit on numerous occasions but I am sticking with it. Getting used to everything and how best to work. It is hard work and I am not JUST a carer I am much more.

I hope you enjoyed this.

Love yah
IsThataRedHering

BLOGMAS Day 6: Internet dating... revisited.

I did a post way over a year ago about internet dating and how I was finding it. I actually had a long term relationship come out of internet dating, but that relationship ended after a year. A mixture of different reasons and a whole other blog post I’m sure to come. Anyway, since I am single and very much ready to mingle I thought I would revisit the topic of internet dating. I joined back in September time using two apps the first Tinder and the second Plenty of Fish (POF). It began okay trying to find the genuine people from the fuckboys was the hardest part. I have since ditched Tinder because it is simply just full of fuckboys and not worth my time. So let’s focus on POF.

So, POF is a dating site, which allows you to make a profile, write about yourself, give a little bio, your basics and them do a very long and I mean very long chemistry test which I have to admit I still haven’t finished haha. Anyway, I have had a few good dates from the site and met some lovely genuine guys on there. I have had some absolute horrid dates, and some guys assume they are going to get sex on a first meeting/date. Now I am up for casual but come on dude, I barely know you let’s get to know each other. I have come up with some top tips for internet dating based on my experience.

Number 1

DO NOT GIVE A GUY YOUR SNAPCHAT

Like seriously, if you have been talking to a guy and all he ha asked you is hey, how are you and then boom straight in with have you got snapchat, you will receive a dick pic and loads of them. Words of warning that is what happens.

Number 2

DO NOT GIVE YOUR NUMBER OUT

Okay, so with this one be respectful of your mobile number. So, many guys use the excuse of this app is slow have you got whatsapp? Why yes I do, but know you cannot have it because I barely know you. If a guy really wants to get to know you they will wait. I normally do not give my number out until I’ve been messaging a person at least 3 days. I want to know them a little first.

Number 3

Don’t be afraid to play the field

I’ve had a few people ‘judge’ me because I am talking to several guys. Most of these people judging me are in relationships, and have been for a while. Now just because I am talking to several guys it does not mean I am sleeping with them. I am simply getting to know people. Figuring out if we have stuff in common and quite frankly it’s nice to know I have people wanting to talk to me. So please do not judge.

Just a quick revisit and a few little tips.

Love yah

IsThataRedHerring 

BLOGMAS Day 5: My go to films!

.

I own a lot of DVDs, like way over 500! I can't help it, yeah I have Netflix and Amazon Prime but I am still a lover of DVDs always will be. I have a few films that I absolutely love and can watch over and over again without getting bored. It's safe to say I like a mixture of films. I can't resist a good romance film but I also love action and of course superhero movies. I love a film that makes you feel good.

Feel good movies/ Romance 

The Fundamentals of caring 

New Moon 

The Devil wears Prada 

Angus Thongs and perfect Snogging 

Who doesn’t love a good RomCom or feel good movie. Of course I love the classics Bridget Jones and Love Actually. But the ones I watch over and over again are above. The newest one to my list is The Fundamentals of Caring, it is a fantastic film, hilarious and completely heart-warming. The film follows a 18 year old boy called Trevor who is in a wheelchair and requires round the clock care, his new carer Ben (Paul Rudd) who takes him on a road trip to see road side attractions along the way, their final destination the BIG pit. Along the way they pick up two other passengers. We learn the truth behind Ben, Trevor and their new passengers. A lovely film.

Of course the others include The Devil wears Prada this film needs no explanation really, I mean it’s a classic. What more do you want, its sassy all over and down to earth. With a strong message of never give up on your dreams, keep pushing and sometimes take a leap of faith. I had to add a Twilight movie onto the list and for me New Moon is the best, I loved it so much, it was also my favourite book. I don’t even class it as my guilty pleasure because I am not ashamed. And finally classic girly feel good film Angus, Thongs and perfect Snogging I don’t care if this film is for 14 year olds this film never gets old. Slaggy Lindsay and her thong from Bulgaria. The Ace Gang and of course the snogging scale. What more do you want, okay fine let’s throw in a beautiful set of twins, Dave the laugh, some dodgy hair and a cat that swims. That’s right it has everything. A coming of age film that never gets old. And yes I still quote this film.

Action 

Lock, stock and two smoking barrels 

Rock N Rolla 

Both directed by one of my favourite directors Guy Ritchie, follows essentially a bunch of gangsters and crooks in London, who pull off some great cons. I adore these films. I know a scary amount of the words and love how there are many twists and turns throughout the films. Another to note is Snatch another Guy Ritchie must see. Bloody and dangerous.

Marvel 

X-men 

Guardians of the Galaxy: Vol 1

X-men is my favourite Marvel ‘series’ as it were, the Phoenix is y ideal. Damn I wish I was as cool as her… anyway off topic. For me X-men has everything a good superhero series needs. Also, mutation is something that happens in everyday life therefore we could all be mutants… which would be amazing. And finally Guardians of the Galaxy: Vol 1, if you haven't seen or heard of this film where have you been? This follows Starlord, a human who got picked up by aliens who wanted to eat him or so they say. He becomes a mixed up in some dangerous business and is on a quest for one of the infinity stones with a bunch of unlikely sidekicks. Fantastic film, great casting and the soundtrack out of this world. 

Love yah 

IsThataRedHerring

pictures from Google Images 

BLOGMAS Day 4: Hair care and what I use.

I last dyed my hair back in July, I have bleached my hair to shit. It's been every colour under the sun. Although I love my multi-coloured hair I was sick and tired of having dry and damaged hair. I tried to kid myself that my hair was fine. I continued to abuse it, bleach, dye, heat everything bad I could do to my hair I did. I used no protection at all on it, and thought mixing conditioner in with my bleach would help the situation. And of course it didn't! I was a first class idiot.

Well now it's been nearly 5 months since I last bleached or dyed my hair. I have done nothing but try and repair my hair. I have had regular hair cuts. The first hair cut was the hardest. It was cut so short, I actually cried. I have never cried over a hair cut before, until that one. Absolutely heart broken. I knew from that moment that I need to sort my hair out.

First step
Was to stop using so much heat, I have only blow dried my hair maybe 3 times in the past 5 months and went a good 2 months without straightening it. Which was a big deal.

Second step
Better quality shampoo and conditioner. With all the bleaching came a horrid and quite frankly broken scalp. I had terrible bleach burns all over my scalp which were very painful. I started using Head and Shoulders itchy and dry scalp treatment, which has really helped. It has also helped strip out the extra colour I had in my hair. A win/win situation in my book. I've always used TRESemme and upped my conditioner to platinum protect and using the platinum protect hair mask. Both in which has helped my hair majorly. I used the mask 2-3 times a week for the first couple of months and then once or twice a week after that.

Third step
I upped my products once again. So this month, I had done a lot of overtime so got paid a bit extra. I thought it was time to buy some decent products for my hair.. so £37 later on 2 products, I purchased a heat defense spray called Argan Secret- Miracle 10 costing £17! I wanted to use it straight away, and I can honestly say my hair feels AMAZING already. It's not just for heat defense but has loads of other fantastic things (hence the miracle 10). I would highly recommend this product, expensive but well worth the money to protect your hair, as I straighten my hair almost every other day. The second was Maria Nila- Structure repair mask costing £20, I have used this twice now, once a week, I honestly felt the difference straight away and could not believe it. It felt like brand new hair. This combined with the miracle 10 spray my hair has been given a new lease of life, shiny and fresh. And people have noticed which is great.

I hope this has helped, in some way.

Love yah
IsThataRedHerring