Fuck it, I'm going to prove myself wrong!

I’m terrified.

I’m terrified of never being truly happy with the way I look. I want to change I do, I try so hard but then something happens or I make up an excuse and I’m back to square one again. I self-sabotage all the time. I know this but yet I keep doing it.

Today I had the day off work, I could have gone for a walk, run or a jog. I could have got my bike out of the shed and gone for a bike ride. Even if it was for half an hour it would have been better than what I actually did. But surprise, surprise I didn’t instead, I got up at noon, ate some cake and proceeded to watch T.V. all afternoon. I did a marathon… of a T.V. series. I’m so lazy and I know that, I really do. I keep trying to lose weight and get healthier but after 3 weeks I get bored, annoyed and angry because I haven’t lost the amount of weight I wanted to. Of course I know that it is a long process but let’s face it, if we could all just press a button to make us look the way we want to we’d all press it. But life is a bitch and that’s not how it works.

I’m scared that if I don’t make the changes now I never will. My weight is already causing problems for me. I was 14 when I was told I have an 80% chance of not having children. I was told then, that if I lost weight that statistic would go down. But did I listen, did I fuck! I carried on the way I was. And my weight has piled on. I’ve tried a lot of things but as soon as small excuse appeared I’d grab it and make it massive. I got ill, I had 3 operations. Now what’s my excuse? I’m tired after work… well Gemma MAN UP!

I need to stop thinking of excuses. I work 4/5 days a week. Always have at least 2 days off work. Work is great, I am more active at work. Running after the kids and eating reasonable meals. But it’s the snacking and picking.

I always have plenty of time to do exercise after or before work but I never do. I either start work at 7am and finish at 3:45pm or start at 3:15pm to 10:30pm… I have plenty of time before or after to do something. I know that if I did 30 minutes of moderate exercise a day I will see a massive difference but once again I can’t be bothered.

But the difference this time is that, I have my family, my friends, a personal trainer and my boyfriend rooting for me. I lack motivation but with each of them supporting me I know I can do it. One step at a time. One pound at a time, with every step I will get there and be healthier. I’ve said it so SOOOO many times that I will change but this time I NEED to do it. I can’t keep slacking. I have a future to prepare for. I have a full time job, a loving partner and the only thing holding me back is my weight! It’s one thing I can control and change so here goes!

I promise… for every pound I lose over the next year I will donate a pound for pound to charity. On the 13^th of November 2016 I will update you all. With weekly updates (every Friday) I will let you know how I go. What I’ve eaten, how I’ve exercised. My highs and lows. Everything.

I hope you can all join me on my journey

Love yah

IsThataRedHerring 

The struggles of a plus size women.

I have always been larger and to me its not really bothered me. Until recently. Myself and my friends have been looking for new clothes, students loans are in and its summer, it's time for a new wardrobe! However, being a size 18 it can be really hard to find clothes that I feel confident in.

New Look is my number one choice for clothes shopping, they normally have a wonderful plus size range. However, my recent online purchases really disappointed me. I normally go for a size 18 in most things, however this time round I decided to play it safe and get a size 20. I was really excited to try on my new items, however when I started trying on my clothes I was so disappointed, I was almost in tears.

This was my first choice, I fell in love with it instantly. A cute little play-suit, costing £19.99. I thought it was great value. However, when I put it on I was very disappointed. The bottom fitted so perfectly, but the top half was so tight and restricting, I was the most upset that this did not fit because of how much I loved it.
I am tempted to try a bigger size, but I am a bit apprehensive about it. I will keep you posted...

How adorable is this little thing? Costing £22.99. I love this dress, however when I tried it on, it fitted fine, but just didn't sit right on my frame. I have a naturally longer torso than my legs. Which often sucks, because this dress didn't sit right at all. Which was a massive shame. Still a lovely dress though.

I fell in love with these shoes, they were meant to go with my summer ball dress, which is black, I wanted to do a black and white theme.
These wide fit caged shoes were £29.99, in size 8. Which is my normal size shoe, I never get anything different, always a size 8. I have a lot of shoes from New Look and never had trouble with them fitting, until this pair. Which was a massive shame because I was really looking forward to wearing them. However, I found an equally wonderful pair... in New Look.



Not all doom and gloom, I did manage to get a brilliant pair of black skinny jeans that fit perfectly and a pair of shoes. Also, a black dress which I will be wearing to my university summer ball, but was from Boohoo, I haven't brought much from Boohoo but after my black dress fits perfectly, and is quite flattering on my full figure.

The dress is a size 18 from Boohoo, costing £22. I am in love with this little black dress, and cannot wait to wear it.




The shoes are from New Look, costing £24.99. They are lovely and comfortable, I've worn them around the house and they are lovely. And go nicely with my dress.







If you enjoyed this I would love feedback, It's something very different from what I normally write about, but I enjoyed writing this. I have purchased a few other pieces, so may do another blog about them. Let me know your thoughts.

Love yah

IsThataRedHerring


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