Learning to say no!

I have always been that person who wants to help. Even if it means I end up worse off. But recently I have decided that I need to start saying no to things. Some people may think that I am being selfish, but I have decided that I need to start doing things for me. Not anyone else. If I don't want to do something (obviously a valid reason, not just to please someone else) then I am going to say NO! 

July has been a very big month for me, the month of NO! But also positive thinking and making much needed changes in my life. SO what happened?

I handed in my notice at work 

I got a new job

I turned 22

I became single

I passed my theory test 

I had my hair cut and I am back to a natural hair colour

I made this month about me! 

Okay so they might not be massive changes but for me they were the step in the right direction. I have become more independent and focused on myself. Making much needed changes. This time last year I pledged to lose weight. And well I mean I'm not any heavier than  was last year, I am about 3lb lighter than last year. Small bonuses, but safe to say I am not happy with that. So that really needs to change. And I know I can do it, because I did lose a stone of weight in a couple of months, but I started to get comfortable in a relationship and I let everything slip. So, no more buses, I've got my bike out (and helmet). I've taken before photos, of my current weight and what my body looks like now, printed them off and stored them in a secret location. In a couple of months I might write a blog post showing my progress. 

The most important thing is that I am doing this for me and no-one else. No man to impress but simply to prove to myself that I can be healthy and happy with being me. I am not going to starve myself, I am going to do this properly and if you want to do this with me then I'd love it if you'd join me. Make it a weekly or monthly thing. I don't need to know how much you weight or your measurements but we can be there to encourage each other. If you'd like that let me know, because I certainly would. 

Thanks for listening 

Always do things for you. Be a little selfish every now and again

BE HAPPY!

Love yah 

IsThataRedHerring 

Fuck it, I'm going to prove myself wrong!

I’m terrified.

I’m terrified of never being truly happy with the way I look. I want to change I do, I try so hard but then something happens or I make up an excuse and I’m back to square one again. I self-sabotage all the time. I know this but yet I keep doing it.

Today I had the day off work, I could have gone for a walk, run or a jog. I could have got my bike out of the shed and gone for a bike ride. Even if it was for half an hour it would have been better than what I actually did. But surprise, surprise I didn’t instead, I got up at noon, ate some cake and proceeded to watch T.V. all afternoon. I did a marathon… of a T.V. series. I’m so lazy and I know that, I really do. I keep trying to lose weight and get healthier but after 3 weeks I get bored, annoyed and angry because I haven’t lost the amount of weight I wanted to. Of course I know that it is a long process but let’s face it, if we could all just press a button to make us look the way we want to we’d all press it. But life is a bitch and that’s not how it works.

I’m scared that if I don’t make the changes now I never will. My weight is already causing problems for me. I was 14 when I was told I have an 80% chance of not having children. I was told then, that if I lost weight that statistic would go down. But did I listen, did I fuck! I carried on the way I was. And my weight has piled on. I’ve tried a lot of things but as soon as small excuse appeared I’d grab it and make it massive. I got ill, I had 3 operations. Now what’s my excuse? I’m tired after work… well Gemma MAN UP!

I need to stop thinking of excuses. I work 4/5 days a week. Always have at least 2 days off work. Work is great, I am more active at work. Running after the kids and eating reasonable meals. But it’s the snacking and picking.

I always have plenty of time to do exercise after or before work but I never do. I either start work at 7am and finish at 3:45pm or start at 3:15pm to 10:30pm… I have plenty of time before or after to do something. I know that if I did 30 minutes of moderate exercise a day I will see a massive difference but once again I can’t be bothered.

But the difference this time is that, I have my family, my friends, a personal trainer and my boyfriend rooting for me. I lack motivation but with each of them supporting me I know I can do it. One step at a time. One pound at a time, with every step I will get there and be healthier. I’ve said it so SOOOO many times that I will change but this time I NEED to do it. I can’t keep slacking. I have a future to prepare for. I have a full time job, a loving partner and the only thing holding me back is my weight! It’s one thing I can control and change so here goes!

I promise… for every pound I lose over the next year I will donate a pound for pound to charity. On the 13^th of November 2016 I will update you all. With weekly updates (every Friday) I will let you know how I go. What I’ve eaten, how I’ve exercised. My highs and lows. Everything.

I hope you can all join me on my journey

Love yah

IsThataRedHerring 

I'm finally doing it!

For ages now I have thought about writing a book. I have had many ideas but none of them developed into anything I wanted to actually pursue. I kept coming up with excuse after excuse why I couldn't write my book. But then something clicked. I love writing and this idea came to me just before I went to bed. I wrote a note to myself on my phone then went to sleep. I forgot I had written myself this note until 2/3 weeks after; and I still really liked the idea for a book. So, I got researching and writing bits and developing my characters.

Researching is the hardest part. I found that I got distracted way to easily when I was at home so would often venture to the library, where I was restricted by 2 hour computer slots which meant I got more done in the time. But when researching for a book you end up searching and googling the most randomist and weirdest things. For instance today I was in my local library which is small as I live in a small town. Away I was printing 10 pages worth of research on breast cancer then followed by asking if they had any baby name books (which they didn't). The librarian gave me such a weird look as she handed me my printing and unsure what to say. I laughed and said I'm doing research for a book I am hoping to write and we got talking about it and how she has written a children's book for her children which they love. It went from an awkward interactions to something quite rewarding and interesting to hear about.

I haven't been working on my book for long, an hour here and there. However I am able to concentrate on it more now that I am between jobs. I finished my job as a carer last Friday and do not start my next job until October. So I am using this time to research for my book, catch up on books I want to read and generally having some me time.

If you have any writing tips I would love to hear them. All advice is welcome.

Love Yah

IsThataRedHerring