Living with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome

I was diagnosed with PCOS when I was 14, I hadn't had a period in over a year and I began to get concerned. So, I made an appointment with my doctor, she sent me off for an ultrasound scan and blood tests. When I came back for my follow up appointment I was told that I had PCOS. She explained what it was but I didn't really understand much and went about my life as normal. Thinking it was great that I didn't have periods.

It wasn't until I was at university that I discovered the true extent of what living with PCOS meant. Okay, I didn't have periods but I did have the side effects of them, all minus the bleeding. I have bad back ache, severe cramps that would have me crying, I felt ill and had awful mood swings. PCOS also meant my chance of ever becoming pregnant was rather low, I have a 10% chance of conceiving children naturally. I have heard all the stories before of people with PCOS having children naturally, but I have other complications which means the likelihood is a lot lower. Now I was told when I was 14 these statistics and I have had 8 nearly 9 years to process this information. And although sometimes it gets be down, I know there are plenty of children out there that need adopting so when the time is right I think that is the route I will take.

Away, what is PCOS? Other than standing for Polycystic Ovary Syndrome, it is not actually cysts on the ovaries. Confusing I know! I used the NHS website to help me explain what PCOS, there definition is :

'Polycystic ovaries contain a large number of harmless follicles that are up to 8mm in size. The follicles are under-developed sacs in which eggs develop. In PCOS, these sacs are often unable to release an egg, which means that ovulation doesn't take place.'

Meaning that the sacs in which the egg normally lives (as it were) is undeveloped and does not contain an egg, meaning an egg is not released and a period does not occur. Although the cause of PCOS is un known it is believed to run in families. It is related to a hormone in-balance within the body.

It is estimated that 1 in 5 women in the UK has PCOS, but it varies in severity.

Signs and symptoms

• irregular periods or none at all
• difficulty getting pregnant
• excess hair 
• thinning hair 
• weight gain or trouble losing weight

Basically its a massive shit storm and is horrible. Although there is no treatment for it there are some ways of controlling it. I myself were prescribed several different hormone tablets and treatments. But the extra hormones that was used to combat the extra testosterone but the hormone treatments made be depressed caused me to gain weight and fucked me up more. I stopped the treatments and felt a lot better. 

Its been over 9 years since I was diagnosed and I still havent had periods but I am hearing more and more stories about women diagnosed with PCOS and still concieving children naturally so I have faith that if I chose to have children I will be able to naturally. But that is a long way in the future. 

This has been a bit of long post with loads of information. I will do a follow up post soon about my experience with diagnosis. But just know ladies you are not alone. If you have any questions drop me a line. 

Bonus picture of my baby... My ferret Trevvor. 

Love Yah 

IsThataRedHerring 

Fuck it, I'm going to prove myself wrong!

I’m terrified.

I’m terrified of never being truly happy with the way I look. I want to change I do, I try so hard but then something happens or I make up an excuse and I’m back to square one again. I self-sabotage all the time. I know this but yet I keep doing it.

Today I had the day off work, I could have gone for a walk, run or a jog. I could have got my bike out of the shed and gone for a bike ride. Even if it was for half an hour it would have been better than what I actually did. But surprise, surprise I didn’t instead, I got up at noon, ate some cake and proceeded to watch T.V. all afternoon. I did a marathon… of a T.V. series. I’m so lazy and I know that, I really do. I keep trying to lose weight and get healthier but after 3 weeks I get bored, annoyed and angry because I haven’t lost the amount of weight I wanted to. Of course I know that it is a long process but let’s face it, if we could all just press a button to make us look the way we want to we’d all press it. But life is a bitch and that’s not how it works.

I’m scared that if I don’t make the changes now I never will. My weight is already causing problems for me. I was 14 when I was told I have an 80% chance of not having children. I was told then, that if I lost weight that statistic would go down. But did I listen, did I fuck! I carried on the way I was. And my weight has piled on. I’ve tried a lot of things but as soon as small excuse appeared I’d grab it and make it massive. I got ill, I had 3 operations. Now what’s my excuse? I’m tired after work… well Gemma MAN UP!

I need to stop thinking of excuses. I work 4/5 days a week. Always have at least 2 days off work. Work is great, I am more active at work. Running after the kids and eating reasonable meals. But it’s the snacking and picking.

I always have plenty of time to do exercise after or before work but I never do. I either start work at 7am and finish at 3:45pm or start at 3:15pm to 10:30pm… I have plenty of time before or after to do something. I know that if I did 30 minutes of moderate exercise a day I will see a massive difference but once again I can’t be bothered.

But the difference this time is that, I have my family, my friends, a personal trainer and my boyfriend rooting for me. I lack motivation but with each of them supporting me I know I can do it. One step at a time. One pound at a time, with every step I will get there and be healthier. I’ve said it so SOOOO many times that I will change but this time I NEED to do it. I can’t keep slacking. I have a future to prepare for. I have a full time job, a loving partner and the only thing holding me back is my weight! It’s one thing I can control and change so here goes!

I promise… for every pound I lose over the next year I will donate a pound for pound to charity. On the 13^th of November 2016 I will update you all. With weekly updates (every Friday) I will let you know how I go. What I’ve eaten, how I’ve exercised. My highs and lows. Everything.

I hope you can all join me on my journey

Love yah

IsThataRedHerring 

I don't know what to do when I graduate

Like so many students, I am entering the last few months of University, and it has dawned on me that I have zero idea of what I want to do when I leave. I have toyed around with many ideas in the past few years. At the beginning of University I was torn between being a primary school teacher or a social worker. That did not seem to change until the summer of 2014, I had just finished second year and entering my third year, and I thought to myself 'Hell no am I becoming a teacher', but I still loved the idea of becoming a social worker. So I set my mind of becoming a social worker. However, when I came back to university in September and attended a postgraduate open evening, I was really shocked and overwhelmed by the idea of becoming a social worker. There were not many spaces and they wanted at least one years’ experience within the area of social work, and I felt that my small experience would not be enough at all.

Then December came, which was a terribly bad month for me. I had just recovered from the mumps, an operation and an infection (but that is another story). In the month that I took out from University, several ideas ran through my head; and I really wanted to become a midwife, I have no idea why or where this came from, but all of a sudden I was researching, ringing and asking loads of questions about how to come an midwife. But really it meant a new three year course and I didn't really want to spend another three years in education, so I scrapped that idea.

Over the December period I made myself a one year plan, something that seemed doable but still gave me something to aim for.

1.      Hand in all work on time

2.      Celebrate finishing

3.      Go on a small holiday

4.      Celebrate 21^st birthday

5.      Return back to Weatherspoon’s, get enough money to pay off all debts.

6.      Start to learn to drive

7.      Pass text around December time

8.      Start looking for a full time job

Although I feel that this is a reasonable idea I am not sure I want to go back to kitchen work. So still struggling with ideas, a flyer came from my door, my mum picked it up and simply said ‘You’d be good as a carer’. And that really got me thinking. Maybe I could do that, I really thought about it and it made more sense to me. I could work a lot closer to home, saving on money expenses for travelling, there are plenty of care homes near me. But I do not see myself doing that as a full career. I’d really like to either go into Dentistry or work with children and young adults with special needs. I know I know they are completely different ideas and sectors to work in and for, but I have real interest in both areas.

So as you can see I still have zero idea on my future, nothing at all is set in stone as of yet, except the growing older part. I am enjoying being young and not have to worry about grown up stuff. But I know every day I am becoming closer and closer to having to decide what to do after University.

I am sure there are plenty of people stood in my shoes. I hope you aren’t as confused as I am.

Love yah 

IsThataRedHerring

The Theory of Everything, my review.

This review will not reveal any spoilers, just my opinions.

The Theory of Everything, is now in my top list of favourite films. It is heart warming,sad, emotional and full of joy and inspirational moments. I left the theater amazed at how someone can defy so many odds and come up on top always.

The film follows a young Stephen Hawking and is based on the book by Jane Hawking called 'Travelling to infinity: My Life with Stephen'. As many people know Hawking was diagnosed at a young age of having Motor Neuron Disease, which is a progressive disease involving the degeneration of motor neurons and eventually the wasting of muscles, however the brain remains fully functional. At the young age of 21, Hawking was diagnosed with this disease and was given only 2 years to live. This film reveals the real struggles Hawking and his family had to face, but yet the determination of Hawking as well as Jane was outstanding and truly inspirational. Not only was the story of Hawking's life amazing to watch, you feel somewhat involved with his journey, the acting by both Eddie Redmayne and Felicity Jones was outstanding. Particularly Redmayne's portrayal of Hawking, I felt that at some points it was Hawking himself. Redmayne could not have played him better, I feel that he did Hawking proud. 

It is a must watch film, and although 2015 is not a month old yet, I feel that this film will be hard to beat. This film is inspirational, emotional and a truly wonderful watch. I erge everyone to go and see this film, I would advise 12 years and older. I would rate this film 5 stars out of 5. 

Here is the trailer for The Theory of Everything. 

Love yah 

IsThataRedHerring