BLOGMAS Day 9: Reapplying for university

I thought it was about time I reapplied for university. I am lucky enough to hold a BA Hons degree in Educational Studies from Plymouth university. And after taking nearly 2 years out of education and thinking long and hard about what I want to do for the rest of my life I have finally chosen what to do. I am currently trying to write my personal statement. I don't think I am the only one who struggles to write about themselves without feeling like a vain twat! I have written half a page so far and I am cringing at every second of it.

Anyway, you may be wondering what I am applying for, well I am putting in my application for a PGCE in primary school teaching ages 5-11. I was umming and arring for so long if to do it. I was debating for a while if to do midwifery or nursing but I decided that teaching was the way forward. I am hoping to get my QTS and within 2/3 years be able to teach abroad. I really want to travel and teach. Or even move to another country to teach. But that is a few years off and I really need to get this application form done first. Haha.

I am hoping to stay close to home this time round. As it will be cheaper in the long run. My top choices are; Reading, Winchester and Southampton. Oxford Brookes was also on the list, but I can only choose 3 and Winchester won its place in the top 3. Its so pretty. All of these universities have great reviews from students. I have done a lot of research into what university to go to, and it has taken me over a year to narrow down my choices. And I am pretty happy with them.

I just need to finish my personal statement, get my references and I can then send off my application. So, fingers crossed I get through to the interview stage and get offered places. I will keep you all up to date.

Love yah
IsThataRedHerring

My last hour at University.

May the 31st at 3pm marks the end of an amazing era and massive chapter in my life. Three wholes years of my life has been spent at Plymouth University. I started on September the 5th and now I am leaving, only to return to graduate in September. My housemates have left, they have packed up. My room is empty and clean. Now I must catch my train home back to Thatcham, and start the next chapter in my life. A new exciting job, learn to drive, turn 21 and everything else life has to hold for me. It's a massive step and I am terrified. I have considered taking a masters because I am scared to move out of education. I've spent the past 16 years of my life at school, and uni I know its time to move on, but I just don't want to. Let me stay young!!!

But I know I have to move on, and grow up. Start paying taxes and actually save my money! No more cheeky Nandos for me :(. But like I said its exciting to move on and develop as a person. 

I have made friends for life at uni, those who have been with me through thick and thin, been with me through break-ups, mental break downs and melt downs, but most importantly through the good times. The random beach trips, or shopping sprees, the endless library hours and more Nandos I care to think about. You guys have made me cry with laughter, danced and mde utter fools of yourselves with me, and for that I am forever grateful.

And now as I sit here, on my own in my empty bedroom and empty house writing this I get to remember you wonderful glorious people, who have made every second of uni worth it. 

I love you all so so much and I cannot wait to see you all soon. I miss you already my lovers. I hope you're experience has been as good as mine. 

Love yah 

IsThataRedHerring 

My last few weeks at university.

The 31st of May will be my last day at university. I would have spent the last 3 year of my life at Plymouth University, attempting to get a degree. All work is handed in, gosh only knows how many words I've written, how many mental break downs and how many unhealthy snacks consumed. I've spent the best part of my uni life either in the library or hung over! But hey that's just part of uni life right? 

I've met some amazing people at uni, friends I will never forget. And a few close friends who I will stay in contact for a very long time. There are some people I cannot wait to forget and never see again, but that is only a few. 

What have I learnt from uni?

1. How to be independent.
2. That I can write a 3,000 word assignment in less than 12 hours and still get a decent grade. 
3. That money runs out really quickly.
4. I discovered the joys of NANDOS!
5. Attempting to date/relationship at uni is extremely hard!
6. Despite being at uni, there will always be people who think that we are still in high school!
7. NETFLIX and YouTube!
8. You can survive on 30p pasta for a very long time. 
9. Thank goodness for spell-check. 
10. The friends you make and the experiences you gain are priceless.

When I arrived in Plymouth I was scared, I was always someone who preferred to stay at home, I'd only be clubbing twice before and I was extremely nervous. But I was lucky to have great housemates and I made friends easily. I know that is not always the case. Sometimes I felt lonely, but don't we all? It's all about coping and finding things you enjoy doing on your own. That is normally when Netflix and YouTube came in, or reading a good book. 

Uni was a fantastic experience but I am excited to start my next chapter in life, a job, career, my own house, traveling and enjoying being me. Although I am sad to be leaving uni, it will be weird not living with my lovely housemates, its going to be hard not to be so close to all my friends, but I knwo they will all still be there for me. Love them all....

If you're worried at all about uni, give me a message or comment. Uni may seem big and scary but it's a wonderful experience that you will never forget. 

Love yah 

IsThataRedHerring 

The struggles of a plus size women.

I have always been larger and to me its not really bothered me. Until recently. Myself and my friends have been looking for new clothes, students loans are in and its summer, it's time for a new wardrobe! However, being a size 18 it can be really hard to find clothes that I feel confident in.

New Look is my number one choice for clothes shopping, they normally have a wonderful plus size range. However, my recent online purchases really disappointed me. I normally go for a size 18 in most things, however this time round I decided to play it safe and get a size 20. I was really excited to try on my new items, however when I started trying on my clothes I was so disappointed, I was almost in tears.

This was my first choice, I fell in love with it instantly. A cute little play-suit, costing £19.99. I thought it was great value. However, when I put it on I was very disappointed. The bottom fitted so perfectly, but the top half was so tight and restricting, I was the most upset that this did not fit because of how much I loved it.
I am tempted to try a bigger size, but I am a bit apprehensive about it. I will keep you posted...

How adorable is this little thing? Costing £22.99. I love this dress, however when I tried it on, it fitted fine, but just didn't sit right on my frame. I have a naturally longer torso than my legs. Which often sucks, because this dress didn't sit right at all. Which was a massive shame. Still a lovely dress though.

I fell in love with these shoes, they were meant to go with my summer ball dress, which is black, I wanted to do a black and white theme.
These wide fit caged shoes were £29.99, in size 8. Which is my normal size shoe, I never get anything different, always a size 8. I have a lot of shoes from New Look and never had trouble with them fitting, until this pair. Which was a massive shame because I was really looking forward to wearing them. However, I found an equally wonderful pair... in New Look.



Not all doom and gloom, I did manage to get a brilliant pair of black skinny jeans that fit perfectly and a pair of shoes. Also, a black dress which I will be wearing to my university summer ball, but was from Boohoo, I haven't brought much from Boohoo but after my black dress fits perfectly, and is quite flattering on my full figure.

The dress is a size 18 from Boohoo, costing £22. I am in love with this little black dress, and cannot wait to wear it.




The shoes are from New Look, costing £24.99. They are lovely and comfortable, I've worn them around the house and they are lovely. And go nicely with my dress.







If you enjoyed this I would love feedback, It's something very different from what I normally write about, but I enjoyed writing this. I have purchased a few other pieces, so may do another blog about them. Let me know your thoughts.

Love yah

IsThataRedHerring


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The past few days...

I started this week beyond happy, everything felt like it was falling into place. I was doing well with work, feeling more confident and lined up another interview for May. But then things slowly started falling apart, my Facebook account got hacked so I had to make a new one, the shower broke and then something I didn't expect happened.

Someone who I thought understood me surprised me and not in a good way. I felt let down and a little heartbroken. I had a very bad panic attack, and I was unable to leave the house for 2 days. I'm fine now, happy as I can be. But this person I don't think quite understood how hard it was for me at the time. I can't explain why or when my panic attacks happen and come on, sometimes it is stress related sometimes it just happens. I don't blame this person for anything, and they made the right decision for them and I don't want them to read this and think I am bitching or ranting because I'm really not.

But after a little cry I decided to use this as a new opportunity, no distractions from anything. I made a list of little things to get me through the next month or so. Here it is, another list :P :

1. I have one month left of uni, it's time to make the most of it.
2. I have a fantastic family.
3. My friends are the best I could ever ask for.
4. I have 3 new tattoos planned for next week! NEXT WEEK!
5. I will be starting a fantastic job soon and will be independent properly.
6. My 21st is only a few months away.
7. I cannot wait for one last blow out at summerball.
8. I have graduation 

These are just a few small things that are getting me through everything. I am happy! I won't let the little things get me down anymore. 

SO if you see me around with a stupid grin on my face, its because I made myself happy. I am happy with who I am

Love yah 

IsThataRedHerring 

A little bit of sun makes the world of difference.

For the past couple of days the weather here in the UK has been lovely, Reaching low 20C which is crazy. The tiniest bit of sun and we are all in shorts and vests, myself included. We do not know how long this sun will last so lets make the most of it.

Okay, it sucks that I am stuck in doors most of the day doing uni work, but I have the nice breeze coming through the door, some good music playing and a smile on my face. The past couple of weeks have been really great for me; and this weather is really helping. It's amazing how a little thing can make a big different.

I spent the day yesterday relaxing in the sun with one of my best friends, we did a bit of shopping followed by a spot of lunch in the sun by the canal. It was perfect. Those are the days I want more of. It allows me to forget about the crappy times, days like that make me remember what I do have in my life. Great friends and family with a a bright future.

So thank you British weather, the sun is what we all needed.

Love yah

IsThataRedHerring

How I deal with anxiety and panic attacks!

1 in 4 people suffer from anxiety! 

This is a ridiculously high statistic! Not only is it alarming but also concerning. How can so many people suffer from anxiety but yet it is still a taboo subject. Those of you who know me personally will know I am very open about my anxieties and have regular panic attacks. I've tried many things to help combat it, anti-depressants made me feel worse and made the attacks harder to deal with and added the stress of restless nights and severe mood swings. I did find talking to counsellors helpful but the university only offer so many free sessions and they are expensive. After trying calming exercises, even yoga and breathing exercises I finally found something that really worked for me!

And where did I find this... In a Netflix show called the Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt! 

It seems like a really random place to find something that helps my panic attacks, but it was a small piece of advice Kimmy gave to someone who was at the time panicking. 

If you can survive 10 seconds doing something you don't want to do, then you can do it for the rest of your life. The example in the show was when Kimmy who was kept in a bunker underground for 14 years, and had to turn a 'mysterious' crank... she did it for 10 seconds and then another and then another. When each 10 seconds is up you start with a new 10 seconds. At first I thought it was silly but then I gave it a try and it really worked. Not only for when I'm having a panic attack but when I'm jogging, or when I'm writing an assignment that looks endless or when I'm in a place that I just don't want to be. It really works.

I'm not saying it will help and work for everyone but give it a go. Next time you are doing something you hate or feeling a panic attack come on just give Kimmy Schmidt’s advice a go.

REMEMBER YOU ARE NOT ALONE! 

Please talk to someone.

https://www.anxietyuk.org.uk/ ---- this website has fantastic information!

love yah 

IsThataRedHerring 

March already! Nearly April!

I know this post is a little late, as it is now March 15th! ALREADY! How is this even possible. It seems like only the other week I was starting Uni and now I have less than 3 months left. Three years of my life has gone so quickly.

I've had such an amazing time so far, third year has made me step my game up an extra notch, not going out as much any more, literally once a month if that. Despite having less lectures, I've found myself working a million times more. The library is becoming a second home, I  dream about my dissertation and my other assignments. But its no longer just the stress of uni work, but what I will be doing after I finish uni. So I now find myself applying for job after job. I have resorted to making a life plan okay well up until July

THE PLAN
March

• Write between 500-1000 words a day, in order to keep up to date and not get bored.
• Along with those words, I will be reading an finding a minimum of three articles each day.

I get to go home for a week in March/April as well so that's great. I am going to take the time to relax a little, but still continue with the writing and finding those articles or books. I am also going to see McBusted on the 29th of March so I am really excited! Also to see my family and friends :D 

April

• I have scheduled a small break down for about mid April, when I realise I have less than a month to complete all my work, and then that is the end of my University career
• But on another note the new Avengers movie comes out :D

May

• Now this is a MASSIVE month for me! And a lot of fellow third year students. First is DEADLINE day, the 5th of May, that is only 51 days away! I cannot believe it
• May 5th-- Time to get drunk with all the Educational Studies lot, we certainly deserve it!
• I am also hoping that I will be going to Dublin for a few days, it is a place I'v always wanted to go and explore. 
• Also, Pitch Perfect 2 comes out :D I adored the first one so I am very excited for the second installment 
• But my favourite event will be by far the SummerBall! Last year was amazing but this year I am sure will be even better. Friends, great music, great company and booze!

June 

• Shortly after SummerBall, I will be going to Poland for a 5 day holiday with a few friends, its a cheap and great holiday and something more to look forward to, and a great way to end m final year.
• Then it means moving out of my house in Plymouth and moving all my stuff back home! How all of my stuff will fit into one car  just don't know. 

July

This leaves the last month of my plan so far, I turn 21 on the 13th, I hope to party and see all my friends. I also hope by this point I have found a relatively good job and learning to drive. Small things ay!?

This was just a rambling post, but I felt the need to share my little plan with the world. I hope you enjoyed and sorry its been so long. 

Love yah 

IsThataRedHerring

There are only four types of people...

SO as you may know I am someone who chooses to be 'different' not 'normal' or as some may call my style individual or a phase I am going through! Well guess what guys, I am not going to change my look and personality in order to fit inside your idealistic society...Anyway, whilst walking through campus today I noticed a few people looking at me, okay I do have two toned hair, front is purple and the back is orange and I was wearing a t-shirt that said 'Normal people scare me', but to get to the point I had a few reactions which got me thinking that there are only four types of people in this world.

1. The people who think the world revolves around them and their views.

For example, I was asked today, on my way home why I can't dress normally, this was from a complete stranger, I had never seen or spoken too this person in my life. I responded with 'Why should I dress normally?' But what I should have said is what is normal? Who am I or anyone else to judge what others class as normal. I am not hurting or offending anyone by having brightly coloured hair or funny tops (I'd like to state I have zero tops I own are offence most of them are bands, Doctor Who or minion based). I just simply wear what I find comfortable, its personal taste not a debate.

2. Those who love my style and compliment me.

For example... this happened about two weeks ago, I was walking into lecture and when a women and her child passed me, when the mother turned to me and said 'Wow your hair is lovely, I like the different blues in it' and the little girly kept saying 'Look mummy blues and purples' and this made me very happy and I was shocked that there are people who can be nice, and I shouldn't be so shocked at this. That there are people who are nice. I've had a few people say that I am brave because of my style, and that they'd worry what people think. And I guess to some extent I do worry how people will see me in society but I am not a scary person, I am a kind hearted person (well I like to think I am). So when people tell me I am brave I get a sense of pride because I might be inspiring others to maybe come out of their shell more, and be themselves more. 

3. The individuals.

Those who class themselves as an individual. Those who make heads turn because they have a ‘whacked’ out style. Not necessarily bright colours like myself, but those who class themselves as emo’s, goth’s, punks, rockers etc. Let’s face it, we are ALL individuals, some may follow the current fashion trends, others prefer something different. But who cares, are you happy? Yes good that keep on doing what you are. Just don’t judge people because they aren’t the same as you. Just because they don’t like the same clothing as you does not make them a bad person, in fact they may turn out to be a great person!

4. Those who do not care, it is up to me what my style is.

            I love those people who simply couldn’t give a rat’s ass if I have blonde, blue, purple, green hair. Those who barely notice that I wear personally styled clothes shall we say?! To them I am another person on the street, and they are normally the people to become friends with because they focus on who you are and not what you look like which is wonderful. 

Sorry if this was a rant, but it just got me thinking about perceptions of people without even speaking to them and getting to know them. 

Love yah

IsThataRedHerring

Where does the time go?

Tomorrow is February, one whole month of 2015 gone! Where has this time gone seriously? I guess this is a little reflection of January and look at what February holds for me and this blog.

January
I looked like this for one...

...which is absolutely bonkers because not only have I changed my hair colour 3 maybe 4 times since December/January I have also changed the hair style. I am forever changing my hair. However, I am hoping to stick to one colour soon, but first I need to find the right colour. I returned back to uni in January, which I had several mixed emotions about, but thank goodness I am here. I am so glad to be back, and still shocked how quickly my final year has gone! Just under 4 months until my time at Plymouth uni is over. I also began to write my dissertation which is rather daunting but so far I am enjoying the challenge and researching into a subject I really enjoy. I don't hate my subject yet, which is a massive bonus, I have about 2000 words ish written of it at the moment, so only 6000 more to go haha. What else has January brought me? Oh yeah, yet more illness :( which is sucky, but I am hoping that I have found the problem so I can fix it. Also, myself and Chelsey have started a new blog together which focuses on us becoming healthier and fitter mentally and physically. Which for means I need to start making a lot of adjustments which I know in the long run are going to make me a lot healthier both body and mind. Oh yeah, also more about my hair changes:

So as you can see January has been a crazy time for my hair, and February will also be the same, I no longer have blue and purple hair. I am in transition, so its a white/blonde/green mess at the moment. Which is great fun. According to Chelsey I look like an old women who has had a perm and a blue rinse, I think I look amazing! But back to the serious stuff... January has made me think about a lot of things, how I look, how people see me, what I plan to do after uni, question friendships and relationships, look through mistakes I've made and some things that just need to stay in the past. But I feel that it has made me look at February as a bit of a fresh start, healthier eating, exercising and maybe even just finding myself a bit (peace man peace). I know January is supposed to be the time to make changes but you can always make changes, you do not need to wait for the new year or a Monday to start that diet again. I firmly believe that whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger (thank you Miss Kelly Clarkson) and that just because something hasn't turned out the way you want, just pick yourself back up and try again and again. Hey, I'm trying to lose weight and become healthier for the millionth time, but this time I have a lot more riding on it, I have support from family and friends and you guys which is amazing. And if you are reading this and feel that you have something you want to do but do not have anyone to support you, I'm here. I am always here to help anyone, so don't worry you are not alone, I am a comment or an email away even a tweet anything, I'm here! 

Anyway I went a bit off topic but I think it was essential to mention. Anyway for me February is a start of a newer me in all aspects. I'm going home also for a week which will be great, see the family and some friends, and have a bit of a break from uni and just chill for a bit. Also, this year I am doing lent and giving up meat (I miss bacon already) so we will see how that goes, I also hope to have a lot of my dissertation done. 

So that was my first month of 2015 and here's to the second... 

Love yah 

IsThataRedHerring 

I don't know what to do when I graduate

Like so many students, I am entering the last few months of University, and it has dawned on me that I have zero idea of what I want to do when I leave. I have toyed around with many ideas in the past few years. At the beginning of University I was torn between being a primary school teacher or a social worker. That did not seem to change until the summer of 2014, I had just finished second year and entering my third year, and I thought to myself 'Hell no am I becoming a teacher', but I still loved the idea of becoming a social worker. So I set my mind of becoming a social worker. However, when I came back to university in September and attended a postgraduate open evening, I was really shocked and overwhelmed by the idea of becoming a social worker. There were not many spaces and they wanted at least one years’ experience within the area of social work, and I felt that my small experience would not be enough at all.

Then December came, which was a terribly bad month for me. I had just recovered from the mumps, an operation and an infection (but that is another story). In the month that I took out from University, several ideas ran through my head; and I really wanted to become a midwife, I have no idea why or where this came from, but all of a sudden I was researching, ringing and asking loads of questions about how to come an midwife. But really it meant a new three year course and I didn't really want to spend another three years in education, so I scrapped that idea.

Over the December period I made myself a one year plan, something that seemed doable but still gave me something to aim for.

1.      Hand in all work on time

2.      Celebrate finishing

3.      Go on a small holiday

4.      Celebrate 21^st birthday

5.      Return back to Weatherspoon’s, get enough money to pay off all debts.

6.      Start to learn to drive

7.      Pass text around December time

8.      Start looking for a full time job

Although I feel that this is a reasonable idea I am not sure I want to go back to kitchen work. So still struggling with ideas, a flyer came from my door, my mum picked it up and simply said ‘You’d be good as a carer’. And that really got me thinking. Maybe I could do that, I really thought about it and it made more sense to me. I could work a lot closer to home, saving on money expenses for travelling, there are plenty of care homes near me. But I do not see myself doing that as a full career. I’d really like to either go into Dentistry or work with children and young adults with special needs. I know I know they are completely different ideas and sectors to work in and for, but I have real interest in both areas.

So as you can see I still have zero idea on my future, nothing at all is set in stone as of yet, except the growing older part. I am enjoying being young and not have to worry about grown up stuff. But I know every day I am becoming closer and closer to having to decide what to do after University.

I am sure there are plenty of people stood in my shoes. I hope you aren’t as confused as I am.

Love yah 

IsThataRedHerring

Not a new me, but a better me.

Inspired by the wonderful blog by Lovelychubly I have decided to rid myself of 2014 and the things that sucked, and better myself.

2014 did not start off well for me, my late Aunt Pauline passed away, I hit rock bottom, some friendships fizzled out. However, others were gained, thanks to a mutual drunken experience, lost in Amsterdam, myself and Jess met the wonderful Vikkay and Danni. Thank goodness we met them, otherwise we might still be lost in Amsterdam now, and plus they are fantastic loyal friends. Despite having an amazing time in Amsterdam my struggle with depression continued, I took a month from uni to clear my head that seemed to do the trick.

A lot of things happened throughout 2014, I turned 20, I got drunk a lot, I moved uni houses,end of second year, got a well paid job, met awesome people, made new friends. Discovered new things, had adventurers, started this blog, summer ball. Third year started;  Joined the gym, got ill (mumps, abscess, infection, flu, depression, flu) you no the usual, quite gym.. 2014 summed up, could have been better but I don't want to change anything because it is part of my life.

But here it is my small goals, things that I want to aspire to do. Some are easier than others, so here goes:

Section one, University:

1. Hand in all assignments by the deadline, by at least one hour!
2. Finish my degree (May the 5th DEADLINE DAY)
3. Enjoy last part of third year

Section two, healthy body, healthy mind:

1. Have breakfast everyday, without fail!
2. Which you lazy person, getting up early!
3. Hey guess what!.... EXERCISE... no more 11 hour naps followed by binge eating
4. And of course, eating healthy... mmmm salads! 

Section three, because why the hell not?!:

1. This year I celebrate my 21st Birthday, and I want to read 21 books this year. (separate blog too follow) 
2. Be more organised! 
3. Let's ease up on spending the money and try and save
4. By the end of 2015.... I want to be able to drive! I aim too take my driving test by Christmas 2015!
5. Run the race for life again, and actually run/jog it!

So those are my goals, not resolutions for one year, but my life goals, some are short and easy but others are ones I plan on continuing my whole life. It takes 21 days to create a new habit so here goes! A new step towards a new me.

Happy New Year , you beauties.

Love yah 

IsThataRedHerring

P.S 

        Without the help of my friends and family this year, I would not have survived, so thank you <3 forever