A leap of faith.

I have taken it upon myself to quit my job without having another to go to. I have 2 months to find a new job! Let the journey begin.

Okay, it really isn't that dramatic, but I have in fact handed my notice in at my current job as a support worker for children and young adults with severe autism and learning difficulties with challenging behaviour (yes that's a mouth full). My current job was supposed to fill the gap between my previous job and going back to university. However, I decided to put university off for another year making it two! Although I love my current job as a support worker I know that it is time for me to move on and pursue the career I really want. Which in the long run will be an end of life care nurse. Many people with I am morbid because I want to work with those who are dying but for me the job is much more than that.

5 reasons why I want to be an end of life care nurse:

1. I was born to care for people. Caring for people is in my nature
2. Knowing that the person is dying with dignity and the best care they can possibly receive makes the job worthwhile
3. Knowing that I am making that person comfortable and reassuring them they are safe is very important. Dying is a scary thing, but I want to make the process easier on them and their families.
4. Dying is a personal and very private thing. I want to be with them to ensure they are happy and have everything they could need to pass away peacefully.
5. And finally, because I know that I would be good at the job. I am passionate, caring and loyal, and have the best interests of the person at heart.

Many people think I am crazy for handing in my notice without having a job to go to first. But I believe it is the right decision. I have had two interviews so far, and I have been offered 1 job and awaiting to hear back from the other (the one I really want). The jobs I have gone for a care assistant jobs in care homes for the elderly. Both jobs offer opportunities to develop as senior health care assistants, nurses etc. Whilst writing this I have had a phone call with an interview for a slightly different job. Still as a care assistant but for adults with learning difficulties. Something else for me to think about.

A bit of a different post for you all, I will let you know what happens. Fingers crossed and all that.

Here's to next time.

Love yah

IsThataRedHerring 

Fuck it, I'm going to prove myself wrong!

I’m terrified.

I’m terrified of never being truly happy with the way I look. I want to change I do, I try so hard but then something happens or I make up an excuse and I’m back to square one again. I self-sabotage all the time. I know this but yet I keep doing it.

Today I had the day off work, I could have gone for a walk, run or a jog. I could have got my bike out of the shed and gone for a bike ride. Even if it was for half an hour it would have been better than what I actually did. But surprise, surprise I didn’t instead, I got up at noon, ate some cake and proceeded to watch T.V. all afternoon. I did a marathon… of a T.V. series. I’m so lazy and I know that, I really do. I keep trying to lose weight and get healthier but after 3 weeks I get bored, annoyed and angry because I haven’t lost the amount of weight I wanted to. Of course I know that it is a long process but let’s face it, if we could all just press a button to make us look the way we want to we’d all press it. But life is a bitch and that’s not how it works.

I’m scared that if I don’t make the changes now I never will. My weight is already causing problems for me. I was 14 when I was told I have an 80% chance of not having children. I was told then, that if I lost weight that statistic would go down. But did I listen, did I fuck! I carried on the way I was. And my weight has piled on. I’ve tried a lot of things but as soon as small excuse appeared I’d grab it and make it massive. I got ill, I had 3 operations. Now what’s my excuse? I’m tired after work… well Gemma MAN UP!

I need to stop thinking of excuses. I work 4/5 days a week. Always have at least 2 days off work. Work is great, I am more active at work. Running after the kids and eating reasonable meals. But it’s the snacking and picking.

I always have plenty of time to do exercise after or before work but I never do. I either start work at 7am and finish at 3:45pm or start at 3:15pm to 10:30pm… I have plenty of time before or after to do something. I know that if I did 30 minutes of moderate exercise a day I will see a massive difference but once again I can’t be bothered.

But the difference this time is that, I have my family, my friends, a personal trainer and my boyfriend rooting for me. I lack motivation but with each of them supporting me I know I can do it. One step at a time. One pound at a time, with every step I will get there and be healthier. I’ve said it so SOOOO many times that I will change but this time I NEED to do it. I can’t keep slacking. I have a future to prepare for. I have a full time job, a loving partner and the only thing holding me back is my weight! It’s one thing I can control and change so here goes!

I promise… for every pound I lose over the next year I will donate a pound for pound to charity. On the 13^th of November 2016 I will update you all. With weekly updates (every Friday) I will let you know how I go. What I’ve eaten, how I’ve exercised. My highs and lows. Everything.

I hope you can all join me on my journey

Love yah

IsThataRedHerring 

There are only four types of people...

SO as you may know I am someone who chooses to be 'different' not 'normal' or as some may call my style individual or a phase I am going through! Well guess what guys, I am not going to change my look and personality in order to fit inside your idealistic society...Anyway, whilst walking through campus today I noticed a few people looking at me, okay I do have two toned hair, front is purple and the back is orange and I was wearing a t-shirt that said 'Normal people scare me', but to get to the point I had a few reactions which got me thinking that there are only four types of people in this world.

1. The people who think the world revolves around them and their views.

For example, I was asked today, on my way home why I can't dress normally, this was from a complete stranger, I had never seen or spoken too this person in my life. I responded with 'Why should I dress normally?' But what I should have said is what is normal? Who am I or anyone else to judge what others class as normal. I am not hurting or offending anyone by having brightly coloured hair or funny tops (I'd like to state I have zero tops I own are offence most of them are bands, Doctor Who or minion based). I just simply wear what I find comfortable, its personal taste not a debate.

2. Those who love my style and compliment me.

For example... this happened about two weeks ago, I was walking into lecture and when a women and her child passed me, when the mother turned to me and said 'Wow your hair is lovely, I like the different blues in it' and the little girly kept saying 'Look mummy blues and purples' and this made me very happy and I was shocked that there are people who can be nice, and I shouldn't be so shocked at this. That there are people who are nice. I've had a few people say that I am brave because of my style, and that they'd worry what people think. And I guess to some extent I do worry how people will see me in society but I am not a scary person, I am a kind hearted person (well I like to think I am). So when people tell me I am brave I get a sense of pride because I might be inspiring others to maybe come out of their shell more, and be themselves more. 

3. The individuals.

Those who class themselves as an individual. Those who make heads turn because they have a ‘whacked’ out style. Not necessarily bright colours like myself, but those who class themselves as emo’s, goth’s, punks, rockers etc. Let’s face it, we are ALL individuals, some may follow the current fashion trends, others prefer something different. But who cares, are you happy? Yes good that keep on doing what you are. Just don’t judge people because they aren’t the same as you. Just because they don’t like the same clothing as you does not make them a bad person, in fact they may turn out to be a great person!

4. Those who do not care, it is up to me what my style is.

            I love those people who simply couldn’t give a rat’s ass if I have blonde, blue, purple, green hair. Those who barely notice that I wear personally styled clothes shall we say?! To them I am another person on the street, and they are normally the people to become friends with because they focus on who you are and not what you look like which is wonderful. 

Sorry if this was a rant, but it just got me thinking about perceptions of people without even speaking to them and getting to know them. 

Love yah

IsThataRedHerring

The Theory of Everything, my review.

This review will not reveal any spoilers, just my opinions.

The Theory of Everything, is now in my top list of favourite films. It is heart warming,sad, emotional and full of joy and inspirational moments. I left the theater amazed at how someone can defy so many odds and come up on top always.

The film follows a young Stephen Hawking and is based on the book by Jane Hawking called 'Travelling to infinity: My Life with Stephen'. As many people know Hawking was diagnosed at a young age of having Motor Neuron Disease, which is a progressive disease involving the degeneration of motor neurons and eventually the wasting of muscles, however the brain remains fully functional. At the young age of 21, Hawking was diagnosed with this disease and was given only 2 years to live. This film reveals the real struggles Hawking and his family had to face, but yet the determination of Hawking as well as Jane was outstanding and truly inspirational. Not only was the story of Hawking's life amazing to watch, you feel somewhat involved with his journey, the acting by both Eddie Redmayne and Felicity Jones was outstanding. Particularly Redmayne's portrayal of Hawking, I felt that at some points it was Hawking himself. Redmayne could not have played him better, I feel that he did Hawking proud. 

It is a must watch film, and although 2015 is not a month old yet, I feel that this film will be hard to beat. This film is inspirational, emotional and a truly wonderful watch. I erge everyone to go and see this film, I would advise 12 years and older. I would rate this film 5 stars out of 5. 

Here is the trailer for The Theory of Everything. 

Love yah 

IsThataRedHerring